Uterus Stab Denied

I see walking alone in the parking lot,
I say to myself. "Man that chick is hot!",
I make my move with the stealth of a cat,
Armed with some chloroform and a baseball bat,
She looks innocent with naughty thoughts concealed,
And all I can think of is breaking her virgin seal,
She sees me trailing and speeds up her pace,
I hope she isn't carrying a damn bottle of mace,
That stuff leaves you wheezing and eyes burn for days,
And I can't score any involuntary love in a chemical haze,
Crap! She turned back around and sprinted to her car,
Damn! I can't keep up she has me beaten by far,
She starts the engine and races off like lightning,
The thought of not getting any action leaves me sad and frightened,
And as I lay on the ground cursing god for this scarring rejection,
I reminiscence of whacking to Sailormoon and suddenly relieve my tension,
It looks like the teen mall crowd has dwindled, I better catch a cab,
I'll have to try again tomorrow for that elusive uterus stab...

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